Perfectionism in children: tips to identify it

The weight of perfectionism not only determines the capacity for happiness of adults, but this demand also affects children.

Desire for constant approval

A good result often produces the pleasant effect of recognition or praise. However, it is advisable not to condition an experience on the desire to receive admiration.

Otherwise, frustration increases when something that had been taken for granted does not actually occur. Perfectionism in children manifests itself, among other signs, through this search for approval in the school environment and at home.High expectations

This forecast becomes the measure from which the child later interprets the reality of the lived process. And, from this point of view, a good result does not seem to be so much because it is perceived, precisely, from the requirement.

Search for the comfort zone

No human being has the ability to achieve with the same level of excellence all the objectives that are set. And yet, that does not imply that someone should give up the possibility of engaging in activities that are not so proficient . Well, a perfectionist child puts a lot of demands on himself, but usually focuses on those subjects in which he feels safe. On the contrary, you can avoid those activities in which it does not come close to your expectations.


A perfectionist child may also show a special interest in order. This is an aspect that is positive as long as it does not overwhelm you.


This is not a permanent feeling. However, it can be revealed at different times. For example, a child may feel this way if a classmate gets better grades .

The perfectionist student himself comes to experience this discomfort without having an objective reason for it. This is the case when, despite having achieved your goals , you do not really value what you have achieved.

Negative view of the error

The error is part of the learning process itself, however, this experience comes to condition the ability to enjoy at this stage.


This is another of the gestures that can be manifested by someone who also feels a high degree of frustration in the face of defeat . In fact, it can happen that a child gets stuck in failure and avoids trying again.

Time management

Perfectionism tends to affect the organization of time because the protagonist stops so much in some aspects that this leads him to postpone other questions.

A demand without limits

The desire to do something well does not materialize in a scheme in which the requirement always invites us to go further in terms of effort and result . Perfectionism not only gives rise to interpretations about reality that lack objectivity, but also to evaluations about oneself that are the result of this pattern of behavior.

A weakening self-esteem

That is, it tends to identify with external results. In this way, when he does not achieve the end that he had proposed, his assessment of himself is conditioned by this circumstance. The same is true in the opposite situation. And this perspective increases the level of vulnerability of a weakened self-esteem.